Thursday, September 26, 2013

Mail - Still on a roll!

Here's the one lone piece of mail that's going out today:

BRAND-NEW PEN PAL - hopefully she has a high tolerance level for silliness, because the 5-pager in this innocent-looking envelope is kind of out-there.  That's the hard part about starting a new pen-friend relationship: the one-sided delivery of enough information - in a conversational format - to intrigue them and make them want to write back; without over-sharing too much and letting them see your crazy.  Not right away, anyway!  I like to save the Real Me for at least the third letter.

Oh, who am I kidding, it probably shines through in the first paragraph.

Wait - didn't I promise something inappropriate?  Yes, I did!

Okay, so I have another relatively-new pen pal.  He* was recommended to me through another friend.  So I threw together a letter and fired it off, and sure enough, back came an equally bizarre and offensive missive.  I might have some real competition here!  Check out the rating page he sent:

I don't remember using the word "virgin" but I'm proud anyway.  Also you have to like a guy who opens with a story about his 187-lb dog's anal leakage problem.

*Yes, "he".  I haven't had a boy pen pal before, mainly because most of the dudes that are looking for pen pals are writing from prison.  But I'm, like, 90% sure this guy isn't.  In prison, that is.  I'm willing to accept that he's a dude, based on his description of his ear-hair grooming habits.

I'm going to go check the mail.  Think happy thoughts for me!



  1. Replies
    1. Thank you my friend! I was looking at your blog the other day hoping for updates but you were pretty quiet. It's nice to see you again!

  2. hahahahahahahahahaha!! *he sounds like a riot!!

    1. Yes. He sounds completely bonkers, so clearly we have to be friends.

  3. OMFG!! Love this! Who the hell talks about anal leakage on the first letter?! So. Very. Awesome.


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