Here's the one lone piece of mail that's going out today:
BRAND-NEW PEN PAL - hopefully she has a high tolerance level for silliness, because the 5-pager in this innocent-looking envelope is kind of out-there. That's the hard part about starting a new pen-friend relationship: the one-sided delivery of enough information - in a conversational format - to intrigue them and make them want to write back; without over-sharing too much and letting them see your crazy. Not right away, anyway! I like to save the Real Me for at least the third letter.
Oh, who am I kidding, it probably shines through in the first paragraph.
Wait - didn't I promise something inappropriate? Yes, I did!
Okay, so I have another relatively-new pen pal. He* was recommended to me through another friend. So I threw together a letter and fired it off, and sure enough, back came an equally bizarre and offensive missive. I might have some real competition here! Check out the rating page he sent:
I don't remember using the word "virgin" but I'm proud anyway. Also you have to like a guy who opens with a story about his 187-lb dog's anal leakage problem.
*Yes, "he". I haven't had a boy pen pal before, mainly because most of the dudes that are looking for pen pals are writing from prison. But I'm, like, 90% sure this guy isn't. In prison, that is. I'm willing to accept that he's a dude, based on his description of his ear-hair grooming habits.
I'm going to go check the mail. Think happy thoughts for me!