Thursday, January 29, 2015

Hi ho, it's your favourite art dork here.

No, seriously.

I got the itch today to make something, so I figured I'd make an envelope from scratch for a letter that was ready to send.  I started with two blank time sheets, then collaged, glued, painted, doodled, sewed, all that good stuff.  It went really smoothly - the muse was definitely IN.

Then: this is supposed to be an envelope.  How shall I join the two together so that I can stuff a letter in it and ship it off into the great unknown?

Idea: use the office laminator!!  In fact (genius lightbulb moment) I should just layer it all together.  Back of envelope, letter, front of envelope!  Run the whole thing through the laminator!  Then once it reaches its destination, its new owner has merely to snip off the top, as if it was a bag of delicious animal crackers, and the enclosed letter will be accessible and easy to read!  GAWD I'M SO SMART SOMETIMES I EVEN AMAZE MYSELF.

To the office!  Set up the laminator!  Turn it on!  Layer carefully - make sure the back of the envelope is in fact facing out!  Okay, now run it thr- uh oh.  What's that grinding noise?  Ohboy.  I don't think this laminator can handle that stack of pages.  SHIT!  PULL IT OUT PULL IT OUT!  Phew.  Okay, I don't think I wrecked anything.  *looks guiltily around to make sure nobody saw me* *remembers I am alone*

New idea: Laminate the front and back together.  Then I'LL clip the top open like a bag of delicious animal crackers.  I'll put the letter in, tape it closed, and voila.  HOLY SHIT I'M THE BIGGEST GENIUS I SHOULD TOTALLY GET A RAISE.

Back into the laminator!  La la laaaaa!  *so proud*  OMG why is it grinding again?!  CRAP!  Ah, for the love ... okay.  Back to the drawing board.  I willllllll........... ok.  OK!  I will laminate the front, and I will laminate the back, and then I will find a completely different way to put them together into the form of an envelope.  *deep breath*  *slides single layers of arted-up time sheets through* Motherf--- WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW?  Why is the carrier sheet coming out the back but NOT  MY ENVELOPE?!  

*takes laminator apart* *says more bad words* *finds that first sheet kept rolling inside and is stuck and all curly* *unsticks and uncurls it* *reassembles laminator* *looks around again to be sure nobody is witnessing this jackassery* *still alone, thank God* *turns it on and runs the rest of it through*

Ah.  Better.  I suppose I should have followed the directions on top of the laminator (THAT ARE IN PICTOGRAMS SO THAT EVEN A DUMBASS LIKE ME CAN FOLLOW THEM) that show that you put your material INSIDE the carrier sheet.  Not on top of it.  Jeez.  

Anyway, too late for directions now.  Run it through one more time, fingers crossed that it will uncurl and be relatively straight so I can still use it.  Otherwise: all that work for nothing, and then I'll just have to start day drinking way earlier than planned.

SUCCESS!!!  OMG I'm exhausted.  But I got my two sheets laminated.

  1. Take pictures before it's shiny.  
  2. Braille Dymo tape does not fare well when going through a hot laminator.  
  3. I probably require adult supervision.

You've been very patient.  Here you go:

Love Shelley!

No comments:

Post a Comment

I would love to hear what you think...